Permission to Live

Posted on Sun Oct 22nd, 2023 @ 6:18pm by Captain Ansel Benoit & Commander Jade Troconis

1,038 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: The Trafalgar Roll
Location: Captain's Ready Room
Timeline: MD 1- Following "Chance Encounter"

Ans had gone straight to his ready room after meeting Ensign Forde in the mess hall. He couldn't let go of the encounter and that bothered him. It should have been a simple crewman trying to cheer up a Captain and that was what he wanted it to be, at least what he wanted others to think it was.

What it actually was he had no idea. He didn't understand women, he never had. It was the reason he was still single. He told himself that he preferred it that way but the truth was he often hid a part of himself. He wasn't sure that he could love and therefore it was much safer to hide so that he didn't hurt anyone else.

"Commander Troconis, please meet me in my ready room."

Jade gave a start when she heard the call from the Captain. She put the language padd down that she had been reading and quickly made her way to the ready room. She stepped inside, a worried expression in her eyes. "Ansel, I mean Captain, is everything alright?"

"I had a very strange conversation and I'm hoping what I said won't be misconstrued." For some reason as the last word came out of his mouth he wondered if he was pronouncing it correctly. But he might have bigger problems than that, he hoped not. "I met young Ensign Forde. And well she tried to cheer me up and I can't help but wonder if she thought during our conversation that I was flirting with her. I'd like to go back through what I said and see what you think. I know this isn't your job," he sighed. "I don't want any Ensign heartbroken over something stupid I said."

"Okay just stop right there, Ansel." Jade deciding to drop the ranks right then and there. "Come let's have seat and let's talk. And why won't that be in my 'job' description for you to talk to me about certain matters. And if you need a woman's perception about something, by all means lets talk things over. I most certainly will be talking with you if I have a question where males are concerned, so I would come to you for some better understanding."

He nodded and sat down though he wasn't sure if he'd actually heard what she'd said. He wondered where to start. "Ok so I was sitting in the mess and she asked if she could join me because it was the only open seat." Thinking back he didn't know if that were true because he hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings. "Of course I said yes. She asked if something was wrong and I was honest with her that I was feeling a bit . . . Useless."

Useless that was something that made Jade raise an internal eyebrow, but didn't show it outwardly. "Evie seems to be a friendly sort of individual. A warm and genuine soul. As for you being useless, tell me this. What sort of captain do you wish to be? One who gets in and gets his hands dirty, or one who just stays behind his desk?"

"I've always been a doer, sitting behind a desk just kills me sometimes but that's not really why I called you in here. She put my mind at ease about my lack of putting my hands to good use. We continued our conversation and she told me about her family and where she was from and I told her about mine and the more I'm talking the more I'm calming down. I just got the impression that she thought I might have been flirting a little bit or that she thought she might be flirting. I don't know . . . " He put his hands on his head feeling ridiculous now.

Jade was quiet for a moment or two, as she contemplated Ansel's worry. She moved over to where Ansel sat, a gentle smile surfacing placed a hand upon his shoulder.

"Ans, there is nothing wrong with you talking to a lady. And Evie made you feel relaxed enough to talk with her. She is that sort of person. I think that we are all feeling slightly awkward, this being our first ship and mission together. Plus that appearance of that Alien making his pronouncement upon us, certainly threw us for a loop." giving his shoulder a slight comforting squeeze.

"To finish my thoughts on this, allow yourself to have the human contact with others. This includes, getting your hands dirty to work on a project with crew members. This is your command and your decision as to what will be your command style." Jade added.

He nodded. Things he already knew but he just needed someone to voice them. It wasn't that easy though, talking to Evie maybe, but getting his hands dirty, the crew often found that uncomfortable. Still, he wasn't going to bother Jade with it anymore. "Thank you Commander . . . Jade. I'll take that dose of medicine with a drink. Have time to join me?"

"I would be delighted Ans, and you are welcome." a slight frown appeared as a thought came to her mind. "I do feel I need to apologize for something. The something is, my not coming to see how you are doing after that Alien visit. I kinda went into a slight shock." Jade stepping back to give the captain room to move from the desk. "Makes me feel like I'm not much of an XO."

"You were busy," Ans made a gesture with his hand as if shooing away the thought. "I didn't even realize that I needed someone to talk to until Evie sat down at my table. Awfully short sighted of me. I must get to know the counselor on board. I've always had great respect for them." He stepped toward the open door, gesturing for his XO to go first. "Let's get that drink."

"Sounds good to me Ans. And still feel free to come talk to me as well." Jade commented as she stepped out the door. Jade felt better that she and Ans got to talk a little bit.

Commander Jade Troconis
Executive Officer
USS Victory

Captain Ansel Benoit
Commanding Officer
USS Victory

 

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